Dog Show (transcript)
Episode: Dog Show episode begins at the Dog Show event. Announcer: Today is the biggest event of the year! The all-breed dog show! the dogs are locked. George Liquor got Ren. George Liquor: Hello! I'm George Liquor... American! Now I want you to meet real champion showdog. [George Liquor pets Ren My prize mantion big name "Champy"! Liquor opens up and Ren gets out of cell. George Liquor picks up Ren Look at that little rascal. Chow as your lipstick. That's a good boy. Now our champion show that dog processes many fine treats. Like dinner hygene for instense. to Ren's teeth. Just look at those gums. Does gums does this come CHEAP!? No sir, you've got to massage them. Liquor rubs Ren's gums There ya go. Now don't be stinky if you loved. sighs happily How about that? Liquor looks at Ren's tail What's this crap? You only got one of these? Yeah, I'll bet it does. To be a real champion, your dog must have the tail off. Easy now. pops the tail off. There, that's pretty. Now know all this smooth butt, that's illegal to appears to your showdog. Liquor picks Stimpy Looky, here's another one. See that? Stimpy: Duhhh, but I'm a cat! George Liquor: Let it go, Rex. Finally, let's start over look at the importants of the showdogs FUR! Look at those fine coats! and Stimpy are shiny as a fur. I will born this way, only a deary buffine can read up that time. Liquor has a Big buffine and shaves both furs. Ah, yes. got backskinned. Stimpy: My! You're look might handsome! has a back skeleton Ren: Shut up, or I'll tear your tonsils out. buzzers Salesman (as Megaphone): Pre-Judging will begin in 5 minutes. George Liquor: Don't sweat it, boys. You can lick 'em, you can lick 'em ALL. with Ren and Stimpy offscreen. 5 minutes later, all the dogs and humans are going. Ahh, no conscience. cuts to the Pre-Judging here with George Liquor, Ren and Stimpy Psst. Hey boys. giggles Well his judge feeding out of plums around my hands. and Stimpy's hands are made of rotten plums. Psst. There's the man now. to Mr. Horse and Mrs. Buttloaves. Mr. Horse: Alright, let's have a look at your dog, ma'am. Horse sees the curly puppy. George Liquor: Pah, he call out of dog. Whipped with the hippy wig. Horse puts the curly puppy and checks the Pre-Judge meter. The meter was in the middle. Mr. Horse: Mmm-hmm? Horse use the measure the curly puppy. Mmm-hmm? Hmmm... George Liquor: Ahhh, it's an the bag. It's too easy. Horse eats the curly puppy and chews it. Mr. Horse spits his curly puppy out. Mrs. Buttloaves: Does Periwinkle measured, Hon? Mr. Horse: No ma'am, I don't like it. Horse throws the curly puppy. Mrs. Buttloaves: offscreen GASP! was sleeping. Bulldog eats the curly puppy and swallows it. Bulldog spits the eye out. Curly puppy's eyes blinks twice. Ren and Stimpy are shocking and got scared. Ren: up, hugs Stimpy It's been a good life. Mr. Horse: Next! Horse saws a Black Dog with Man's hand. Black Dog barks wildly and crazy. Mr. Horse looks at the Man and Black Dog. Mr. Horse looks at the viewers. This cripe. Horse covers his hands at Black Dog. GIVE ME THAT! opens his mouth, Black Dog pushs his Mr. Horse hands off. Black Dog: WAIT!! It's not my fault! You think that guy wanna see the hair like THIS!? HUH?!? George Liquor: Man, would you look at that? Makes me wanna PUKE!! Black Dog: It's him! HE makes me do it! It's HIS fault! KILL HIM!!! OH PLEASE, don't protect me, ple-e-e-ease! George Liquor: It's in the bag. Mr. Horse: red to anger, turns to gray for normal self Look at you, you're begging! Shame on YOU! Black Dog: Alright alright. You're right. I'm gonna take it like... A MAN! Dog was slowly walk to the Bulldog's mouth and Black Dog closes his Bulldog's mouth. Mr. Horse: Next! George Liquor: HERE! Take a look at this! Mr. Horse: Horse looks at Ren's eyes Hmmm... Asthma Chihuahua, huh? Look at that. Horse looks at Ren's ears, full of bugs Well, this is representive of this sickness brain. Alright, he's in. Horse puts Ren to the Final Contestants. Ren: Stimpy. Mr. Horse: Hmm... Horse looks at Stimpy's mouth Never seen this breed before. Horse looks at Stimpy's butt Hmmm... Horse covers Stimpy No sir, this butt's too smooth. Never heard of that. tries to open his mouth George Liquor: TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, YA MORON! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT CORNIE'S BACK SIDE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?!? Mr. Horse: Maybe I won't! George Liquor: growls ARRRGH!!! Liquor bumps Mr. Horse to see Stimpy. Well, take the nasty look! Mr. Horse: Liquor bonks Mr. Horse head with Stimpy OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!! George Liquor: ARE YOU GET CLOSER NOW?!? HUH?!? HUH?!? BIG SHOT?!? WHAT DO YA THINK NOW?!? HUH?!? Mr. Horse: I think he looks good! smiles Stimpy: Thank you. George Liquor: LOUDER! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Mr. Horse: sweat It looks good! MIND AGAIN! Stimpy: Thanks again. George Liquor: Yeah, I thought so. Liquor, Ren and Stimpy goes to the finals. Well boys, this is a big time. Make me proud. smiles Salesman: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the all new Breed Dog Show Finals! I'm your judge! George Liquor: Now here's a real judge for them. A man's man. Salesman: Only the finest showdogs from all over the world have come to compete with this spectacular event! And now, our first contestant, a stunning as Italian Prey Hound. Prey Hound shines. George Liquor: Boys, this is getting harder than I thought. Salesman: Remarkable... Perfect high corners... George Liquor: Don't worry, boys, if we don't make it, we'll just going back to our guard dog training. Salesman: A solid breastskit. He gets a nine. Prey Hound walks away And next, we have a fabulous cornish Rex Hound. George Liquor: Go to it, Rex. will join Salesman and do the pose. Salesman: Mmm, good completion? George Liquor: Atta girl, Rex. Salesman: Nice hops, man. George Liquor: He likes him! He likes him! Salesman: Let's take a closer look, shall we? Stimpy's leg Ahh.. YES! Good muscle tops. What's this!? Dew Claw on Stimpy's leg Ohhhh, an Ingrown Dew Claw! has a thumb down Disqualified! was shocked George Liquor: shocked WHAT?!? Salesman: Take it away. picks Stimpy away, George Liquor stretches his face angry and rips off his shirt during big roars and gets mad. George Liquor pants. George Liquor: YA LOUSY ROTTEN BUM YA!!! IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO PUSH IN THAT DEW CLAW!!! Salesman: And next, A prize as a hound Chihuahua! George Liquor: groans It's up to YOU now! You're gonna bring me my trophy! You're gonna make dream come true! YOU GOT THAT?!? Ren: Ohhh no! I ain't going up there! Why don't you do it yourself, Mr. Big Shot! covers his mouth George Liquor: OH, A SMARTMOUTH HUH?!? the screen Alright, okay! I'll... stops shaking, echoing loudly DO IT!!! voice And I'm gonna win too. Liquor joins to see Salesman. George Liquor do the pose. Salesman: WOW! Look at those lines! A perfect chest for the withers to briscet! Such as smooth BUTT! Audiences: Ohh! Ahh! Salesman: off I tell ya I've never seen a finer dog in my lung career! Ladies and Gentlemen, for outstanding excellence among all breeds.. I present these 1st prize to our finest showdog the Royal American, Charge hound! claps his hands and audiences cheering and show a confetti. Audience holds the George Liquor smiles and audience walks to the left. Cuts to Ren and Stimpy was having tears of joy. Ren and Stimpy: sobbing Oh Joy.... to black at the end of the episode. Category:Episode Transcripts